Exercises letter/email writing

1  Exercise letter - bad example 𝕊  ℍ

You have decided to take a gap year before starting university and are considering different options such as volunteering or work and travel. You have found the organisation Plan My Gap Year which offers various programmes abroad, e.g. working on a farm in New Zealand. Write a formal letter to the organisation in which you assess to what extent their programme matches your motivation for spending a gap year abroad.
 
Read through the letter given below and say why this is a bad example.